For a moment, it just was

Written December 22, 2021

The holiday season has been filled with excitement and cheer intertwined with anxiety and worry. Today while taking my morning walk in the rain I tried to ground myself in the what is rather than the what if, something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember.

In what is I am reminded that while it may sound like the sky is falling, everyday life continues to go on in NYC. Dogs are out for their morning walk, kids are going to school, people are trying to catch flights and find one last gift before running to the grocery store and then waiting on line for hours in some cases for their PCR test. It’s a mix of “normal” everyday activities with a whole bunch of what ifs raining on our parades.

As I neared home the rain stopped and things were still and quiet. For a moment it wasn’t about what is or what if and instead it just was. I paused for a minute, taking in the silence and then the lights changed, the sweeper rolled by honking and I hustled home thinking about what is, trying to quiet the what ifs and reminding myself that if the city can pause and just be for a moment, so can I.