All the moments we do not see

Written December 9, 2022

A few months back, I caught an episode of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast titled, WHY ARE THERE NO PICTURES OF US?!?! As usual it made me laugh out loud and tear up, and it’s a question this season has me revisiting.

A scroll though the photos on my phone showcases the big moments and the mundane ones. Playground trips, beach vacations, trips to see family in Arizona, first steps, baby smiles that light up a room, pictures that make me laugh and the ones that make me shake my head at just how little they once were and how challenging all of that was.

Tonight we decorated our tree and celebrated my birthday when all of us could be together. Suddenly after dinner I realized we didn’t get a birthday picture. I have pictures of the tree trimming of the girls and nothing of my birthday dinner with my family. Out of curiosity I looked back at my photos and realized the last time there were photos for my birthday was in 2018.

I sense it’s not just me and was reminded of that podcast episode. Often one family member is the creator of the moments as responsibilities are delegated, and therefore the capturer of the moments as well. The challenge this role creates is that you have countless memories of your children, pets, partner, family members, sunrises, fall foliage, the ocean and approximately one million photos of your couch cushions from the times your kids took your phone.

And then, there are roughly five photos of you. It’s higher if you count selfies but we all know the taker of the selfie often takes one for the team when it comes to the photogenic features of the photo.

As we embark on the holiday season, one filled with a push to capture all the moments of wonderment and awe and very few of what and whom make the moments happen, I invite us to celebrate all sides to these celebrations. Or the reality that not every year is filled with tidings of joy. For tonight I share my new cozy blanket that I refuse to let my kids use because kids germify everything, and the top half of the tree that excludes the clusterf@$& of ornaments that just had to be front and center.

And next year, I will ask for a picture. I hope you do too.